Thanksgiving dinner? But Sears is open!

First, there was Black Friday. Then, Black Friday went from just the busiest shopping day of the year to a masochistic marathon in which stores opened earlier and earlier, with some even starting their sales events on Thursday at midnight. On top of that, we added Cyber Monday, since the weekend-after frenzy just wasn't enough. And this year, for the first time, top-name retailers such as Sears, Toys R Us and K-Mart will even have sales hours on Thanksgiving Day itself. Thanksgiving has mutated into this insane, materialistic free-for-all, and it ain't pretty.

I thought we were all in dire economic straits here, folks. Isn't that why we just went through the whole "throw the bums out" mob scene during the midterm elections? All the unemployment and foreclosures and pay cuts and everything...didn't we just go to the ballot boxes to tell our politicians that we were hurting and needed help?

And yet, it seems that this year, Americans simply DO NOT have enough hours in the days after Thanksgiving to spend their money. I guess we're all doing a little better than we thought we were, though you wouldn't know it from the news. If we're recovering, that's great and all. But, more to the point, even if we are all suddenly able to shop for hours (and hours and hours) all weekend, why are we doing it?

Yes, things are cheaper for a little window of time. Yes, there's a deal or two to be had and yes, it is a way to get a jump on the holiday shopping most of us must do. Honestly, though, it is making me a little ill to see how enormous and all-encompassing this buying freakout has become. It's as if people are simply terrified to miss out on a price cut, even if they must spend less time with their family and friends, and more time on line in the pre-dawn hours, waiting to stampede into a store so they can fight over the last $29.99 digital camera. It's beyond my comprehension how we got this way, but trust me, y'all. You and your loved ones will survive if you don't get a truckful of crap at the mall this weekend. You really will.

Tell ya what, folks. I love my family and my friends. I love Thanksgiving. I love the parade, the food, the football, the naps - all of it. And I am honestly thankful for all those things, and for everything else I have, and I enjoy taking one measly day out of life to reflect on those things and revel in them. I'd like to think all y'all are in the same boat, and have enough good stuff in your own lives to make you content on Thanksgiving, instead of clamoring for bargains on plastic shit with the masses out there. If you're one of those who lives for the after (or, God help you, during) Thanksgiving sales, then more power to ya, and I hope you find whatever you're looking for at a rock-bottom price. Seriously. But if you're one of the lucky ones, like me, I hope you savor every minute of your day tomorrow, and Friday, Saturday and Sunday too.

Maybe you'll even join me in a little tradition I have. When I'm having a slice of leftover pumpkin pie with whipped cream as a midnight snack, I always think of the poor slobs lining up to do battle with their fellow consumers, shivering in the dark, working out their shopping strategies and slurping coffee from a thermos to get them through a sleepless night. And as I chomp down on that first whip-creamy forkful in my cozy kitchen, I smile and offer my last thanksgiving of the day: Boy, am I thankful that I'm not them.

Thanksgiving dinner? But Sears is open!