Why I'm kinda vegetarian - but not really

On Twitter today, I saw that the public is being asked to submit ideas for a new product in the Linda McCartney line of vegetarian frozen foods. Well, not the entire public; the contest is open to residents of the UK/Ireland only. It's a good idea, though, because the Linda McCartney people can definitely use the help. I have actually eaten a few Linda McCartney frozen dinners, and I can't say I was knocked out by them. It has been years since I had one, though, and maybe they've gotten better. In any case, I am hopeful that the contest will result in something yummy. I'm always on the lookout for new vegetarian products, since I am (mostly but not really entirely) vegetarian myself.

The definition of "vegetarian" confuses many people, so I'll break it down simple like for ya. First, there are vegans, who are the hardcore mofos of the vegetarian world: no dairy, no eggs, and no animal by-products of any kind, which means they must hunt down items like marshmallows and cosmetics and clothing that do not, in any way, use animal sources of any kind in their manufacture. I am simply not disciplined enough for this lifestyle. And I like cheese waaay too much, so veganism was never an option for me.

There are several less-stringent varieties of vegetarians as well. There's vegetarians who eat eggs, but no dairy; vegetarians who eat dairy, but no eggs; raw food vegetarians; and, for all I know, there is a type of vegetarian who eats only fruits and vegetables that begin with the letter P.

And then there's my type of diet, which, for lack of a better term, I call the mostly-but-not-really-entirely vegetarian diet. I do not eat meat except for fish. I have not given up fish, because I like it too much and because I live in Florida and would probably be miserable without partaking of at least some of the local fish and shellfish around here. I do eat it rather infrequently, and I do look out for seafood sources that are as ocean-friendly as possible. It's not perfect, as far as veggie lifestyles go, but it works for me.

It's tough to have the diet I have, because I often have to defend my choices to both meat-eaters and more purist vegetarian types. I am a "tofu-eating hippie flake" to the former camp, and I am on morally indefensible ground according to the latter camp, who believe that you can't be "sort of vegetarian", just as you can't be "sort of pregnant". So, I find myself ending many food-related conversations by telling someone to just fuck off.

I do, in fact, agree with those who are full-on vegetarians and tell me I am not one of them. I understand the fact that either you are or you ain't, and if you eat living creatures like fish, then you ain't. I am not perfect, and neither is my diet or my lifestyle in general. I don't claim to be 100% eco-friendly with everything I do, buy or consume. I try to be aware, and I do try to make the best choices I can make. I know, however, that most vegetarians tend to disapprove of how lax my standards are compared to theirs. And that really pisses me off.

I can understand why so many meat-eaters have a negative view of vegetarians. I have to be totally honest here, folks. Vegetarians can be really, really annoying. For many who decide to go meat-free, it is a moral decision. And, like any lifestyle based on a specific and strictly-defined moral code, it sometimes causes those who choose to follow it to get pious and judgmental when they are around others who don't share their views.

It makes perfect sense to me that people who go veggie out of a desire to prevent animal cruelty would be so passionate in their views. it is a very admirable thing to look out for the creatures of the earth, and to learn how to adjust one's eating habits to support that cause. I think this world and it's inhabitants would be in better shape if everybody gave up meat. I don't think I can make that decision for anyone else, though, and I don't act militantly about it, because I think zealotry tends to scare people away rather than win them over.

I have had many a conversation with vegetarians who got on my case for not being 100% veggie. I understand and respect them, I really do, but I think it's up to me to decide what I do or don't eat. If I say I can live with eating the occasional piece of mahi mahi, then that's my business. And there are also those rare moments in life when I yield my regular diet for the sake of experience. When my husband and I traveled in Europe, for example, I did eat some dishes with meat in them. If you think I was gonna ask the waiter in that trattoria in Florence to pick the meat out of my homemade sauce, you must be smoking crack.

At the end of the day, my motivation for eating as I do is a combination of moral and health-related issues. I think there are many alternate sources for the nutrients I need, and I see no reason to eat meat when I can readily find and obtain those alternatives.

Luckily, I have a very understanding and accommodating family. My kid still eats meat, but will generally have whatever I make for dinner, which is always meat-free. And my husband has been especially good about my dietary choices. He was born and raised in Scotland, and is a burly, 6'4", weightlifting motherscratcher. That right there is as much of a meat-and-potatoes person as you are ever gonna find on planet Earth. Despite this, he happily eats my meat-free meals most of the time as well. For several years, he also went completely meat-free, but found he couldn't handle it after a while. Now, he eats what I cook and supplements it with lean chicken or turkey when he feels he wants some. But they both join in as well as could be expected.

It helps a lot that there are so many products now available for people who don't eat meat. It's also lucky that I have found a decent arsenal of veggie-friendly recipes that really taste delicious. I am Italian, and I'd kill myself if I didn't enjoy the food I eat. Trust me, I am not able to subsist on tofu burgers. I can tell you honestly, when I make veggie Shepherd's Pie or Sloppy Joes, or seitan Stroganoff, my husband and my kid are both on it like locusts. And if those two carnivores can enjoy what I cook, it can't be that bad.

I'm gonna leave a recipe here for those of you who are brave and/or open-minded enough to give meatless cooking a try. It's one that has been universally enjoyed by everyone who's had it, and I do mean everyone - from my husband to my parents, friends and brother-in-law, who is a grilling fanatic and has a weekly meat intake that rivals that of a T. rex. It uses seitan, a product that is available in Whole Foods stores and many regular supermarkets. If you do try it, I think you'll be surprised at how tasty it is.

SEITAN "CHEESESTEAK" SANDWICHES

1-1/2 cups thin sliced onion
1-1/2 cups thin green bell pepper strips
2 packages seitan strips
2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. Greek seasoning
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
Additional garlic powder, Greek seasoning and black pepper (to sprinkle over seitan)
Sliced Provolone cheese (or non-dairy equivalent, if you're a hardcore vegan mofo)
Hoagie rolls

Drain seitan. If it is not sliced well, slice into strips. Place seitan on a paper plate and sprinkle with garlic powder, Greek seasoning, and black papper to taste. Allow seitan to sit in spices while doing the next step.

Heat a large, non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat with cooking spray. Add onion and pepper. Cover and reduce heat to medium. Cook, stirring often, until vegetables are crisp-tender (about 6 minutes).

Add seitan, balsamic vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, Greek seasoning, garlic powder and black pepper to skillet, stirring well. Continue to cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, for 4 minutes or until veggies are tender and seitan is heated through. Remove skillet from heat.

Preheat broiler. Split hoagie rolls lengthwise and place on a foil-lined cookie sheet. Fill rolls with seitan mixture. Top with sliced Provolone cheese. Broil 1 minute or until cheese melts. Serve immediately.





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Music That Doesn't Suck (Part 2)

Happy New Year, peeps!

Well, this will be a happy year, at least as far as music is concerned. As y'all already know, I am looking forward to a new release from Elbow (and their show in Manchester - tee hee!), and there are a few other artists with releases in the near future that should be pretty tasty. I thought I'd do a little roundup of some of the stuff I'm psyched about; enjoy!

Elbow - Lippy Kids
Obviously, I have big, big love for this one. It's a great preview of what to expect on the new album (out in March in the UK, with a US release date to be announced soon, I hope). Lyrics are tremendous, as is the voice of frontman Guy Garvey, but the music on this is understated in the most magical way. The song treads really lightly, but it leaves the most beautiful footprints behind it.




R.E.M. - It Happened Today
I am always optimistic about new R.E.M. music. What I've heard so far from the new album, Collapse Into Now, sounds fairly decent, but I'll have to hear the whole thing as a piece to get a real feel for where they are now as a band.




Cake - Sick of You
Yeah, baby, Cake's back and they brought the cowbell! Shweeeet!



Iron & Wine - Walking Far From Home
OK, this one really threw me. I love me some Iron and Wine, but the first time I heard this tune, I was very "WTF?!?" about it. Doesn't much sound like the Sam Beam I'm accustomed to. However, different can be good, and this is proof. Let it play all the way through. Listen to those lyrics. Wait for it. You'll get it.




The Go! Team - Buy Nothing Day
I always get a solid kick out of the songs of The Go! Team. This track, from new LP Rolling Blackouts, is no exception. I know it's only January, but this shizz sounds like summer.



J Mascis - Not Enough
The man from Dinosaur Jr. is ready to grace us with a solo release, Several Shades of Why, this coming March. This is a lovely little taster from that LP, which is acoustic instead of his more customary electric awesomeness, but it's still quite awesome.



The Radio Dept. - Where Damage Isn't Already Done
One of the best bands you've never heard of. They're from Sweden, they've been around a while, and they are about to drop a collection of their previously released tunes spanning 2002-2010. Consider this an excellent way to play catch-up with them, if you're so inclined. The new double-disc release will be called Passive Aggressive (great title, no?) and this is one of the tracks you'll find on that set.



The Cave Singers - Gifts and the Raft
Aaaand, this last one brings us full circle, right back to Elbow agaian. Why? Because I first heard the music of The Cave Singers on Guy Garvey's radio program (Guy Garvey's Finest Hour, which is always full of amazing tunes. Check it out here, if you haven't heard it before). This is a track from their upcoming LP, entitled No Witch, and believe it or not, it has nothing to do with Christine O'Donnell.



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